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Suddenly, their relationship went from elegant Saturday night dates to random 2 am hookups. They were still in the casual getting to know one another phase.

He never texted her earlier than 11pm and while he was nice and sweet and all that when they hung out, all he wanted was to fool around (and sometimes order in food and fool around). He hadn’t shown any level of investment (I know going on three Saturday night dates in a row with a guy can feel like he’s investing, but it’s not so).

Yeah, he was attracted and somewhat interested, but after sex was in the mix, he lost interest in pursuing things further.

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You can blame it on biology and a man’s innate need to spread his seed, or on today’s culture which deems men who sleep with lots of women studs (and women who sleep with lots of men sluts), but it’s just the way it is.

As such, women have control when it comes to sex and can decide whether to give in or not, while men have the control when it comes to commitment.

Many years ago, a guy friend said something that completely changed the way I viewed sex and relationships.

He said: “Before a girl sleeps with a guy, she has all the power.

Before the date she told me she was a little unsure about this guy.

She thought he was great on paper and all but she didn’t really feel like they had so much to talk about, she mostly just thought he was really hot.When sex comes before a real emotional connection has been established, it’s hard to rewind the clock.The right time to sleep with a guy is when he has shown a level of investment in you. This doesn’t necessarily mean he calls you his girlfriend or said he loves you.They were still in contact; he would still text her messages full of sexual innuendos.But sometimes he didn’t text for days at a time, or would just drop off mid-convo when she asked him about something non sex-related. She slept with him before they developed any sort of a real connection.They had an amazing time on the date, they continued to message, and he asked her out for the following Saturday early in the week.

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