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I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed.

Actually, I was surprised, if I had to guess, I would have thought the figure to be much lower.

You face going from the bliss of secrecy into a tailspin of conflict with many people at once.

Of course, you face this once the affair is disclosed, no matter who you end up with, but it is less awful if you are attempting to repair the damage with your primary partner.

Meeting someone you respect, are attracted to, who genuinely cares about you, shares your values and at least a few interests, and with whom you can work through conflicts can be a catalyst for not only a great and lasting new relationship with a new person, but with yourself as well.

For example, if, prior to entering your primary relationship, you had the unconscious belief that you were unlovable, or didn’t deserve to be loved, you may have ended up with someone who couldn’t really give you love.

If you deal with the disillusionment by betraying the commitment you have made, then you may not have the tools to navigate this stage which is waiting for you down the road in your new relationship.

Affair Relationships That Have a Better Chance of Success If, however, your primary relationship/marriage was somehow “wrong” from the beginning; if one or both of you weren’t in love, if it was a marriage of convenience, or if it has been mostly miserable or abusive, if it was simply to escape loneliness or have children, that is a different story.

That is because almost all relationships follow a predictable course of developmental stages, all at some point going through a period of disillusionment.

If you can get through this difficult phase, you have the potential of entering into a mature, dependable and sustaining love based much more on reality and much less on romantic idealization.

The question of whether the new relationship will succeed relates to what function it is playing in your relationship with your current partner.

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