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Visits and comments poured in from all over the country about how to make courtship work and why it did not work. I’m talking the kind of couples who first kissed at their wedding were filing for divorce. The deal was that if we put up with the rules and awkwardness of courtship now we could avoid the pain of divorce later.

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This meant that by the time she was 17 years old she knew which Bob she wanted to marry.

They got married and stayed married till my grandfather passed away half a century later.

Some of the specific challenges I identified were: So I founded Practical

Its purpose: to instigate a national conversation about how to make courtship more practical. Then couples who did get married through courtship started getting divorced.

But here are the elements most conservative communities have in common: My grandmother grew up in a marginally Christian community.

People went to church on Sunday, but that was the extent of their religious activity.

So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?

Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.

I am not convinced that anyone is ever truly ready to get married.

Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.

“If I had only gone out with 3 or 4 guys I wouldn’t have known what I wanted in a husband,” she said.

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