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Its a slippery slope that ends with you in a place where a Muslim shouldn’t be. Dear reader, what haven’t i tried to give up this addiction?
Reciting Qur’an, going to talks, activism, du’a, all of that and more.
Another problem was that my family resisted when i suggested that i marry in my early 20s.
I deleted the porn saved on my PC and he tells me he did the same.
By Allah’s Grace he is still going good, whereas, i have found it more difficult.
But having crossed that line only once advances you to the next level of sinfulness.
So you’re first mistake is looking at a woman lustfully.
Don’t let it be the case too often that he comes homes to find you wearing some lame tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt – or worse your pajamas. Perhaps having a second wife might satisfy a brother’s need for variety. Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins”  ———— One sin leads to another, and this addiction makes you sin in other ways. I never, ever used to lie before, but after this addiction caught hold, lying became habitual as i concocted story after story to cover my tracks: why was i on the computer for so long last night? And subhanallah, no one is as resourceful as one whose mind has been overcome by the need to satisfy his lusts.
Sneaking away to be alone with the computer, altering the computer’s history so that no one could find which sites i had visited or which files i had downloaded.Over the years I’d made online contacts who had similar “interests” as me.One was a practicing brother, we spoke about mutual “interests” but also Islamic things, and qadrullah we made repentance the same day as each other then told each other about it.Knowing that i am a practicing Muslim, knowing that there is a day in which i will have to stand in front of Allah and take the rap for these sins, and not having a single plausible excuse come to my mind which i can bring on that day is a horrible feeling. And also the guilt that comes from leading a double-life and betraying one’s spouse. I’ve seen my early zeal to learn and practise, and potential to be a productive member of this ummah fade over the years as i spent my time – hours and hours in front of the computer getting up to no good.It feels sickening trying to make tawba for this sin, because while asking Allah to forgive me, i felt within myself (and from knowledge of past relapses) that I haven’t really given it up and would fall into it again. Some say its due to a lack of imaan, and I agree that it is, but its more complex then that. Sometimes the boost in imaan from these things keeps you off the sin for a month, other times, only a few days.During these years in which i have sinned I have also memorized 10 juz of the Qur’an: that didn’t come easily, nor without determination, and i would bet that is more than most people who are reading this. The most helpful solution overall i found was going cold turkey with the internet: cutting it off completely.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating